A broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not spurn.
From Psalm 51:17
My husband and I had a “discussion” regarding nothing of serious importance. Nonetheless, I pressed my point until he acknowledged that he understood. Though this was a calm exchange, his tone indicated to me that he was bothered. Afterward, I went back to doing the dishes and he headed outdoors to see if his hanging plants needed water. While scrubbing the last pan, it occurred to me that I’d upset my poor spouse. So I left that pan and went outdoors to apologize. When I began, Mike asked,”What are you talking about? You didn’t say anything wrong.” Huh?
When I returned to the kitchen, my dad’s words from long ago echoed in my memory: “You’re much harder on yourself than anyone else would ever be!” When my dad said that, I knew he was right. I’ve been convinced of God’s love for me since I was a little girl. Still, whenever I was in error and did something which I deemed unforgivable, though the rest of the world viewed this otherwise, I was inconsolable.
The good news is that God has intervened in my foolishness. God used the wisdom of the psalmist cited above, my forgiving parents, a perceptive priest, a kind teacher, an understanding sibling, my aunt, a friend, my husband, our children, our grandchildren and many of my students and colleagues to reach me. Each of these helpful souls reminded me that I’m not expected to be perfect, but only to be my best as best I can. I can’t thank these kind souls enough!
In the event that you’re buying into your own variety of guilt, DON’T! You are loved and forgiven always as well!
Patient God, thank you for the numerous reminders of your ever-merciful love which come my way.
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