Wash Away The Guilt

Have mercy on me, O God, in your goodness;
in the greatness of your compassion wipe out my offense.
Thoroughly wash me from my guilt and of my sin cleanse me.
From Psalm 51:3-4

While recovering from last November’s shoulder surgery, I have developed a new habit of “crowd avoidance”. I venture out to the mall and grocery store during low traffic times which reduces the possibility of others’ unintentional collisions with my shoulder. The good news is the time spent running errands has decreased. The better news is that this change has allowed me more time for reflection. This is a much appreciated luxury except for those times when I reflect unproductively…

I am often told that I have a selective memory. The worst of my personal history lies deep within me. The best of it glows in a rose-colored aura that attests to the many blessings -mostly in the form of people- which have made me who I am today. Occasionally, something unexpected jars one of those dark and sinful recollections which would be best left forgotten. Usually, the transgression which comes to mind has long since been forgiven and forgotten by both my victim and my God. Still, I dwell on it until my guilt peaks and I cannot bear it any longer. Only then do I bury this reminiscence once again with the hope that I have buried it deep enough this time…

Forgiving God, of all of the lessons in scripture, the most poignant are those which reveal the depth of your love, mercy and forgiveness. Please, open my heart to these gifts. Help me to acknowledge my guilt honestly, to express my sorrow sincerely and to accept your forgiveness fully. Only then will I be truly free to take on the work of loving those you have given me to love just as you do.

©2014 Mary Penich – All Rights Reserved